I just found out that my girlfriend subscribes to your posts because she shared this one with me and said I should read it. Excellent write up including sharing real examples from your experiences. I don’t remember where I heard / read this but it went something like - Every man is born (or lives) twice. The second life begins when their father passes and he is no longer leading the life that he thinks his father wants him to live. I think it is particularly relevant as written to men, but likely relevant to most people if we think of man as person and think of father as others.
It resonated with me because I tend to be way off the map in terms of wanting what others want in terms of material things, but I did spend a significant portion of my adult life trying to live a life that I thought my dad would be proud of. Fortunately, I found out without having to loss my dad that he didn’t care what I accomplished or my title, he wanted me to feel satisfied / fulfilled.
Whether it is a dad, a mom, or friend it seems like they would all want you to feel fulfilled but we seem to fill our heads with thoughts of what we think others want us to do with our lives.
This is a powerful reflection. So often we convince ourselves of what we think others want instead of simply asking—wanting to make family proud isn’t always a wrong motivation but it can be detrimental if we don’t even understand what that looks like in their minds. Thanks for reading.
When we start comparing paths and successes we lose the beauty in our individual journey. Happiness should always be the greatest success one can hope for!
Ditto! I struggle a LOT with comparison but so glad I have people in my life who encourage me to be more and do more in the gifts I've been called to. Thanks for reading!
Great tip! This is exactly the advice I give to students when I meet them at career fairs, FFA Leadership events, or when people tell me they aren't happy doing whatever it is they are doing. I tell students not to worry so much about their post-secondary plans- that their post high school experience will only get them their first job. It's the first job that gets you your second, etc... and a huge weight seems to immediately lift off their shoulders.
Miriam…
I just found out that my girlfriend subscribes to your posts because she shared this one with me and said I should read it. Excellent write up including sharing real examples from your experiences. I don’t remember where I heard / read this but it went something like - Every man is born (or lives) twice. The second life begins when their father passes and he is no longer leading the life that he thinks his father wants him to live. I think it is particularly relevant as written to men, but likely relevant to most people if we think of man as person and think of father as others.
It resonated with me because I tend to be way off the map in terms of wanting what others want in terms of material things, but I did spend a significant portion of my adult life trying to live a life that I thought my dad would be proud of. Fortunately, I found out without having to loss my dad that he didn’t care what I accomplished or my title, he wanted me to feel satisfied / fulfilled.
Whether it is a dad, a mom, or friend it seems like they would all want you to feel fulfilled but we seem to fill our heads with thoughts of what we think others want us to do with our lives.
This is a powerful reflection. So often we convince ourselves of what we think others want instead of simply asking—wanting to make family proud isn’t always a wrong motivation but it can be detrimental if we don’t even understand what that looks like in their minds. Thanks for reading.
Very very true. Thank you for taking the time to write these articles.
And thank you for reading!
Comparison is the thief of JOY - Teddy Roosevelt
When we start comparing paths and successes we lose the beauty in our individual journey. Happiness should always be the greatest success one can hope for!
Ditto! I struggle a LOT with comparison but so glad I have people in my life who encourage me to be more and do more in the gifts I've been called to. Thanks for reading!
Great tip! This is exactly the advice I give to students when I meet them at career fairs, FFA Leadership events, or when people tell me they aren't happy doing whatever it is they are doing. I tell students not to worry so much about their post-secondary plans- that their post high school experience will only get them their first job. It's the first job that gets you your second, etc... and a huge weight seems to immediately lift off their shoulders.
Your advice is precisely what we need to hear. I'm glad you're sharing encouragement with the students you meet!