People > Places
From The Archives: Part 1 - Where we live matters so little in the grand scheme of it all.
As I sit in a bright, modern coffeeshop, plants filling the shelves along the wall, I glance down at my shoes, stained red from the sandy trail hike in Sedona earlier in the weekend. My thoughts wander to all the other places my shoes have seen in the last several years: from the colorful streets of Stavanger, Norway and the freshly fallen snow high in the Appalachian mountains, to the concrete floor of ag retail warehouses in northern Illinois and the standard corporate-hallway carpet in Corteva Agriscience’s Indianapolis office.
For a good portion of my life now, I’ve tied much of my identity to my love for travel and new places. Had you asked me several years ago where I would be living when I was 24, I would have told you anywhere but Illinois, anywhere but close to where I grew up. Yet, that’s precisely where I live, less than 60 miles from my hometown. And, believe it or not, I actually like it there. 21-year-old-me would have gasped.
Yet, 21-year-old me valued place much more than 24-year-old me does. Don’t get me wrong: I still love to travel. I still love the thrill of adventure to a new place, especially if it involves mountains and expansive views, or a downtown coffeeshop with plants as the central theme for decor. But, younger me thought she wanted to live in places like that, no matter the sacrifice. Now? I’ve learned to appreciate living in a “boring” place, creating a home with a husband I love, with an easy drive to see my family, and building relationships with the same customers, week after week, and month after month.
As I reflect on how my mindset has changed about the place I live, I thought back to this piece I wrote several years ago about the concept of “somewhere” and “anywhere” people. I still resonate with much of it—the idea that we can respect the place that we came from while still being enamored with new places, that places hold meaning, and that we don’t have to be all one or the other. Yet, I’ve noticed a shift towards the “somewhere” side of the equation, where I value setting roots far more than I did at the time of writing this original piece. Regardless of where you sit in on the somewhere-anywhere spectrum, I think there is a lesson all of us, particularly younger people, should be paying attention to. But, before we get to that, check out the original post to learn more about the concept of somewhere vs. anywhere people.
Now that you’ve got the context, here’s the key point I believe my younger self overlooked:
We tend to overvalue the city or state where we live and undervalue all the things we do and who we do them with, regardless of where we live.
That is, most of our life consists of waking up in our house, eating breakfast, going to work, eating dinner, spending time with whoever we live with, and going to bed. Even most weekends we end up with plans that have little to do with whether we live near mountains or a beach, in a “cool” city or a small town. Yes, of course where we live influences how far we have to drive to the grocery store or how many options we have for takeout, and broader considerations like housing markets, taxes, political affiliation can be worthwhile decision factors; but, much more of the content of our lives is influenced by who we live with, who we work with, and who we spend our free time with than all of these other factors. I think we would do well to give far more thought to the who than the where of our lives.
What I’m not saying here is that no one should ever leave their hometown or go on a grand adventure when they’re young. What I do believe, however, is that we should have a deeper reason for doing those things than simply leaving to leave. If it’s because there are profound friendships to be found in those places, or a career calling, or a better way we can serve the world than where we currently reside, I think we will find much deeper fulfillment in the adventure than simply going somewhere new for the sake of going somewhere new. To pull from the old cliche of what we’ll say when we’re on our deathbed, I have a feeling each of us are far more likely to say “I wish I spent more time with the people I loved” than “I wish I had lived in just one more new city.”
Journal Prompt of the Week
What’s your take on the somewhere/anywhere people concept? Which would you identify yourself as? Are you happy with that?